Happy fears

first act

 Fresh and timely 

It's the tingly feeling you give to me

Still nothing more than an Instagram post

Am the ghost that fell for your Instagram world

If you could shout out to the figure that is me

Would you let me fall in love with everything you?

Here giddy with my trust issues,

Lack of good communication

And probably something dark eating me from the inside

But always happy when you smiling

Heard you celebrate your new yoga suit

But naked yoga suits you

It's not that am only here for the figure and them vegan thighs

Would love to stand next to you as you fight for something true

Wake you with some green tea and a plate of some morning fruit

Map you from your heart to your soul

Be your ginger and vanilla juice 

THE second thought

Maybe on a bike

That's how she will arrive in my life

More volatile than keg and a tot of moonshine

She will ravage my life

Sink in to my mind

And become the worst drug I ever tried

Years after and am a sucker for her lies

I keep seeing heaven but she blinds it will her thighs

Somewhere between my life and her beautiful eyes

Am alive in the shadow she let's me reside

Sometime after I will be alive

At her wedding and the guy she called just some guy

Seeing that look in her eyes

That made me mad for her time

Singing and laughing with the loving

Being a fistful at my heart funeral

It's hard losing the only thing that you loved

It makes sense that you bad for my health

And illegal for a reason

last very last{amen}

Build me with grace

Let me brave this lonely place

Replace my heart's fear with your loving embrace

The love I could never get from the rest

Was in your hands all this days

They think I can never find your way

just because I don't attend the Sunday service

Or sing their sunday anthems

Knowing you made me in a different way

Makes it easier to keep your grace in my heart

A saw a angel one day

They said you sent blessings for me

Am okey with the way you planned my way

It's a wave am glad to surf away

With the ups and downs of the way

I will keep my faith in your everlasting grace 

,....,................

********

wish you called me more

Even though we are long gone

A birthday call wouldn't hurt the soul,

Am not saying it's been hell without you

Or my night turn ugly when someone talks about you 

I know it's not the same

Feelings or same people 

It's life and we all have to keep on living 

Looking at your last response

Feeling like am just making things worse

Who do you talk to when the drugs don't function 

When forgetting you is not enough

Getting to a point I would hurt myself for the missing 

Of Something I lost long ago

I deleted your number cause of moments like this

Moments that I can't stop myself from wanting just to speak

Moments I never got to be with

Moments like a birthday like this 

........................

.......

....  Listed as shitty happy to have feelings 

       Hope someone reads my writings

And sees this shit like I does..,😊